you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize