So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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