He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
