just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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