i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
