her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
