I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
