Fuck appropriateness.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
