me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
P.S. I can't hear my feet
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
