I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
