Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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