im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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