I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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