I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
