we're blogging at a bar
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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