why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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