babies were throwing up all over the place
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
