it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
