She just used a chaser for red wine.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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