Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
