So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm always down for nudity.
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