Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
