I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize