I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
