I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
