I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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