I feel like I'm in dance class right now
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
