I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
