dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
