epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
