i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
