I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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