Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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