I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
