The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
