so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
