There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
did i just pee glitter
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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