There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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