I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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