Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
MIDGETS
????
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
