you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
