ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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