but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
