dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
