i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
