I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He passed out mid-signature
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
