I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
