Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize