Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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