he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
