It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My vagina is very pro this idea
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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