i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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