I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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