Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
