My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
