New invention idea: vibrating tampons
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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