Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
