bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
