Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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