i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
