We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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