How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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