Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So much rum. So many feels.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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