one might say we're banned from that church
honey bunches of taint.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
