I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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