That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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