its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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